IdleGlory | He had to be a genius or nothing, and since he couldn’t be creative he turned to bohemianism, eccentricity, social versatility, conquests. – Allen Ginsberg

I’m experiencing an inner reconstruction phase.

I experienced a shift in perception and personal values
I suddenly became very tired and then ill
My mom was in the hospital unexpectedly
I embarked on retail therapy
I bought many pretty shoes and tried on many different colors/styles/lengths of pretty fashions
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring Again
I questioned the permanence of ideals
I started thinking long deep thoughts
I wrote these down and dwelt on them
I had long conversations on the phone
I was always tired
I went to a design lecture
I applied for a student loan
I cleaned my room
I threw out a lot of emotional-physically baggage
I lost my idealism
My health continued to suffer
I almost passed out on a busy street
I went on photowalks
I went to samplesales and bought things I was always secretly wishing for
I re-learned trust
I voiced my frustrations
I avoided people
I reconciled with friends
I drank espresso again
I listened
I verbalized thoughts and ideas
We verbalized ideals and expectations
A friend gave me a lamp that reminds me of the ocean
I miss him a little
I have exams right now

I feel like Pygmalion trying to create a Galatea